Margarita and the Moon

Have you ever looked in the mirror?

I mean really, really looked?

And do you know who looks back at you? 'Obviously it's me!' you say. 'Don't be ridiculous'!

But who is 'you'?

Something that is here, right now. Something that exists in a 'world' which flickers.

A beautiful world, so fragmented. Why fragmented?

Because people think they exist!

We have the choice how to respond. We create our own existence. Only two emotions exist. Fear and love.

I stood there, looking at myself (like a demented old woman with cats) And 'When Under Ether' came on. There was a flash. I knew that it was going to come on at this point. It was part of the script.

I walked into the bathroom to have a piss, saying to myself not to listen to subliminal meditation CDs again. I had the vision of the crazy cat woman being escorted off the the loony bin.

And then I saw through the foggy glass a huge white ball. And I realised that tonight was the night of the full moon. So I got my fags, put on my dressing gown and went out for a smoke.

And there it was. Hanging over the field like an image from a dream. So bright, so glorious. And my conciousness was filled with it -  with its light, with its mystery. The wind then blew up around me and I inhaled it with the smoke.

It was so beautiful. So beautiful to be standing in this dark silence with the moon's white light raining down upon me.

I wanted to get lost in it - like Margarita in that book by Bulgakov. Margherita putting the lotion on her body and jumping out the window, leaving her depression behind in a nano-second. Flying over the city on her broomstick, looking down and laughing.

The power of laughing! Laughing at whatever is thrown up on your screen. Laughing with the others, because really, who wants to fight with their self?

That dream with all those people attacking me for no reason. The energy I used fighting those people! I couldn't understand - what had I done to deserve this? So I fought. And then I woke up, exhausted, and realised it had all just been a dream.

The people I was fighting only existed in my head! If only I'd realised that the only person I was fighting with was me!

I get it all now. I finally understand. Nearly a year and I realise the truth. And it's wonderful!

I remember W asked it what was the purpose of life. And she saw it all! Her life in all its glory - the people, the experiences that had made her who she was. The purpose of life ...

(drumroll please)...................................................

The purpose of life is simply - to live life!

And to have fun. Because it's all just an enormous joke!


Everything exists
Everything is true
And the earth is only a little dust under our feet