Behind The Mask

Friendship. An interesting concept.

Since I've moved out of a shared house enviroment I've realised more so than before that none of us are especially 'close'. Is it entirely possible to have friends that you've gone about with for years but yet not to 'know' to them? I mean we all go out in a group and have great nights out. But everyone can bond over booze can't they?

And so my teaching placement comes to an end tomorrow. Today was a complete disaster. I was given a reading group and got the kids to read the wrong pages, I was told to put them on a bus with another teacher after swimming and I put them on the wrong one, and I sat and blew my nose all day and felt completely rotten. It's probably best it's coming to an end really, although I have enjoyed it. The only problem is, I haven't actually taught a class yet. I've mainly been observing, helping the kids with questions, telling them to be quiet etc. Tomorrow I think the P7 teacher wants me to read a story to her class, so we shall see how that goes. With my bunged up nose and nasty cough I'm sure it won't be the most fluent story they've ever heard.

Got some good advice today from one of the teacher's in the staff room. She offered me some cheese and crackers and as I sat beside her we had a wee chat about the rest of my placements. I was saying I had really enjoyed my time at the school but that I was somewhat worried about my secondary school placements - with discipline etc. She said that the most important rule was don't let them read you. If you put on a confident front, no matter how much you are shaking inside, you will be confident. It may be all a front but that's what teaching is - it's playing a role. That's what I must remember. I can't and won't let any of them get the better of me, no matter how hard they try. It will be a challenge, but challenges are what makes life exciting. It may be cliché for a wannabe English teacher to finish with a Shakespeare quote but that's exactly what I'm going to do.

"Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt."

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